Everything takes work and especially relationships. To expect a relationship to be able to handle huge strains and tough situations it’s going to have to become a strong relationship over time.
Most people want things like this now. It’s a microwave culture. Our attention spans are about 15 seconds (or whatever it is) and we want it now or we don’t want it all.
But relationships just won’t happen this way. If you’re demanding much depth from a relationship you’re going to have to work your way there. If things happen too fast, things fall apart, people will leave angry and wounds will not heal very quickly. I sometimes wonder why this is. You’d think that if you went deep it would be good for a relationship. And it is.
All I’m saying is that we need to go through those times that just aren’t quite so deep. That doesn’t mean it can’t be edifying. Edification is wonderful. But too much of someone too quickly and too often will wear you down. It’s like exercising. I know many people who want to start out running a ton of miles, exercising 2-3 hours a day immediately after sitting on the couch for the last 20 years. If you do too much too soon, you’re going to get hurt and you’re going to quit. But if you slowly train, starting with half a mile 3 days a week eventually you may be at that point where you can run over 50-60 miles per week. And this is how a relationship grows. As the muscles of your relationship grow you’re less likely to quit. Getting through the little challenges become a piece of cake (like running that half a mile, no big deal) and the bigger ones you can face and make it through even though it may hurt for several days afterward, like running a marathon.
Remember everyone has sins. And eventually you’re going to find out your friend is a sinner. Bummer. But then again you are to. (This is no excuse for your sin though. 😉 )
Picture of the day #79: