I was painting today while listening to a sermon by Voddie Baucham for the fifth or sixth time. Typically, I only listen to these sermons while I work so I miss parts of them when I get really focused. But painting is so boring that.. *cough* ;-P
Something really hit me smack in the forehead. He said that, paraphrasing, if you really wanted to know if a potential son-in-law is really interested in protecting your daughter and her heart he won’t tell her he’s interested in her. Instead, he’ll come to you first. You know, I kind of already knew this but it came home to me today. If I really did care about a girl and really did want to marry her why would I just want her attention? Of course I do lust after short lived attention and “love.”
If I cared so little that I would try to circumvent the father in her life does that mean I really care about her? And even if her father isn’t involved in her life I want to love her and protect her and still run it by him. Why? Well, because he should be involved in her life and he should be the man who most loves her and protects her.
Being a selfish person, I want to be loved and appreciated without the commitment. Or maybe I could call it a lust for those things. And starting a relationship with a young woman on a note where I could care less about her father is incredibly unwise. It shows that I really have no interest in protecting her. If I show that I don’t care for her father up front, how am I going to treat her later?
The key to this relationship is love for others in Christ. The thing that I must not forget is that when I’m getting married I am getting married because I want to glorify God and I want her to grow more in Him. If she’s not going to grow more in Him, then I am actually hurting her and am not loving her. At times, I see how there is a major focus on getting married around me. And yes, marriage is good. When you find a wife you find a good thing (Prov.18:22). A very good thing. But if you are not under Christ and are not going to point your wife to Him you are failing and should avoid stumbling her.