Have you ever caught yourself trying to be somebody you’re not? I have. I want to look good in other’s eyes. I want to act how they act. I’m trying to change my personality or get rid of my sin nature in order to look good in their eyes.
But the problem that I’ve run into is that you can’t keep up your facade forever. At some point, people are going to figure out that you’re a sinner (*shock*). But because you built your relationship on false assumptions at some point the relationship could end in disaster. People imagine you’re one thing and in actuality you’re a totally different person.
People tend to want to be accepted for who they aren’t. Or they have a fear that who they are and what their personality is will not be liked. And honestly, we’re sinners. We aren’t super pretty. We sin. But if someone can’t accept that you’re a sinner they won’t make a very good friend.
Now this does come with a caveat. You can’t show up in a relationship and say I steal, cheat, and am addicted to pornography and then expect people to just accept that’s you as a person. If they’re going to be a true friend they will not accept sin as good. Why? Because they love you. If you were to die tonight without them calling you to repent of your sin, how horrible would they feel?
However, don’t try to change your personality. Your personality is you. You should be willing to change things that are sin, a lack of character, or being unloving, and such. But don’t try to become someone you’re not. Don’t try. You’ll fail and be unhappy at the same time.
As friends we must push each other. And the only way to push each other is to know each other. If your relationship is built on a facade, how will you ever grow?